This morning I stuck a big piece of paper to my wall and wrote at the top, "Ideal Scenario, now in 2026," then paused to write this email to The Culture Club which I'm now sending to you because it pertains to what's brewing inside me, people I know and maybe you too.
First of all, happy post-Benito Bowl! If you cried like I did, you're feeling renewed today. Maybe it's smaller, a little zip of hope or energy. If not, read this then give the performance another watch.
Crying the good cries are purifying. I feel like Bad Bunny's performance was a convergence of culture, memory and futuring that feels deeply and expansively life-giving.
The collectivism we experienced last night was cathartic. I heaved with tears while dancing and singing in my living room. This morning talking to my young, White, Wisconsinite chiropractor, we shared a moment of joy around the performance. The part of WI she comes from couldn't be farther from Puerto Rican, Spanish-speaking, salsa-dancing culture. Nevertheless, she was moved.
The moment was powerful for all the reasons people are saying. And, I'm finding a fire inside around the possibility of the thing.
The thing: A reality where we're so dialed in with each other that language (cultural or sector/industrial) does not separate but weaves.
I'm feeling the truth of something I felt early in my life, then forgot. Remembered in my 20s, then forgot. Was reminded of 4 years ago while living in Maine (crying my eyes out almost daily), and forgot again.
Connection. Relationship. Interdependence. Bond.
This thing we all crave. The feeling that we're not alone. That we're part of a community. That we're not on the outside. It's not elusive. But, it doesn't come easy...until it does. It can be cultivated with intention.
Understanding our needs around community, care and sense of belonging, is one of the first steps toward healing that which separates us from the places, spaces and people we long for.
If we can safely tap into that time in our childhood when we were pushed away, kicked out, shamed for whatever the thing was — an aspect of our identity, personality, way of being — we can find deeply rich and meaningful connection, relationship and bonds.
It comes from being real.
It comes when we take the time to really share time.
It comes from being present. Listening more than talking. Sharing vulnerability more than performing strength.
It comes from love.
My friend Mandy was one of the first people in my internet life who, when we were together IRL for the first time, said "I love you" as she was leaving my house. I'm a double water rising/sun, so I love out loud. But up til then, I didn't necessarily say it out loud to friends, even though I felt it.
That's changed. Loving out loud, and saying it is important to building connection. If I tell you I love you, it's because I mean it.
Show and tell your people that you love them. It's what builds cultures of care, interdependence and possibility.
The way Benito's people showed up for him — Uncle Ricky, cousin Gaga, Pedro, Cardi, Jessica — they love and were there for him because he's real.
push play
With love, Annie
The role of support and mentorship — it's deeply reciprocal, never one way.
Me and my dear friend and client, Victoria. (2024)
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